


and it was your heart on the line

by elisa_pie



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Season/Series 04, Richard is a jerk, but he tries to fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-20 00:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12421410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisa_pie/pseuds/elisa_pie
Summary: Jared goes completely still. It looks like he isn’t even breathing. The sudden silence in the work room is deafening, and Richard is filled with regret as soon as the words leave his mouth.





	and it was your heart on the line

There’s still so much to do, so many things that could go wrong after the company has been momentarily saved by a network of smart fridges. So Richard is stressed and anxious once again. He knows it’s not an excuse, but it does go some way to explain why he lashes out when Jared is—well, just being Jared. Sweet and loyal and ready to help.

“Jesus, Jared, will you just stop, with—with your fucking weird obsession with me? It’s too much, I—I can’t handle it right now, okay?”

Jared goes completely still. It looks like he isn’t even breathing. The sudden silence in the work room is deafening, and Richard is filled with regret as soon as the words leave his mouth. He feels like he’s been punched, which is ridiculous because he has been actually physically punched pretty recently and it didn’t feel half as awful as this does.

He doesn’t even know where that came from. Since Jared’s been back Richard’s been trying his best to keep him here, to treat him well enough that he wouldn’t want to leave again, and now he’s gone and fucked all that up.

“Okay,” Jared replies, his voice so small and quiet.

He doesn’t say anything else, just turns around and leaves. Richard isn’t sure where because he’s busy looking down at his feet, head hanging down in shame. When he finally looks up again, Jared isn’t there anymore but Dinesh and Gilfoyle are both staring at him.

“You really fucked up, man,” Gilfoyle says.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Gilfoyle. Very helpful.”

“I mean, we give him shit all the time, and he just smiles, and bounces back. Like those creepy kids’ toys. But you fucking _broke_ him,” Dinesh says.

“What the fuck do I do now? Where—where did he even _go_?” 

“That’s your problem,” Gilfoyle says and turns back to his computer.

“Yeah,” Dinesh agrees, drawing out the word. “He probably went to the bathroom, though. That’s where people usually go when someone breaks their heart and they need to cry without anyone else hearing.”

“Are you speaking from personal experience?” Gilfoyle asks without turning around or slowing down his typing.

“Oh, fuck you, Gilfoyle,” Dinesh replies and goes back to his own computer.

“You’d like to get that chance, wouldn’t you—”

Which Richard takes as his cue to get the hell out of there.

He ends up pacing the hallway outside the bathroom, short, timid steps before turning around again, wiping his sleeve against the wetness in his eyes. He’s not going to cry. That would be stupid, he’s not the one who’s been hurt here, and god, Jared probably _is_ crying right now. He always cries so easily. Like that one time they got out of the car outside the hostel just as a little kid fell on his bike across the street. The kid's mother was hovering anxiously over him although it looked like the kid was barely hurt. And Jared—sweet, wonderful, kind Jared—had tears in his eyes and excused himself as soon as they were inside.

Richard doesn’t want to see Jared like that again, all teary-eyed and pathetic. He doesn’t want to face that stricken, fearful expression he’d seen on Jared’s face just minutes ago, knowing he is the one who caused it, the one who hurt Jared. But that impulse to hide from the consequences of his own actions is quickly losing to another impulse; to soothe and comfort Jared, to make sure no one hurts him again.

God, what a mess.

Usually he’d ask Jared what to do, because Jared always knows what to do when Richard has fucked up. Richard isn’t sure he can figure it out himself, isn’t sure how to make everything okay. But he knows he has to, so he knocks on the bathroom door.

“Jared? You in there?”

There’s no answer. Richard puts his ear against the door, but the only sound he can hear is running water.

“I’m coming in, okay? I’m sorry, I just want to—to apologize.”

When Richard steps into the bathroom, he feels a fresh wave of guilt and shame, almost like a physical pain in his chest. Jared is sitting on the floor next to the sink, knees drawn up against his chest, his head buried in his arms. Richard goes to the sink and closes the tap, and in the sudden quiet he can hear the sound of Jared softly crying.

He still doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing, but he’s here, and that has to count for something at least, right?

So he sits down on the floor next to Jared. Near enough that their shoulders almost touch, but not quite. He’s not really sure if the physical contact would be welcome. Jared’s always there with a hand on his shoulder when he thinks Richard is upset, but this is—it’s different. Richard knows he fucked up, and he needs to be careful. He doesn’t want to hurt Jared any more than he already has with his words. It wasn’t even true, that’s the thing. Well, okay, what he said about Jared’s behavior was pretty much accurate, but the rest, not so much. He doesn’t hate it. He never has. Quite the opposite, actually.

“I’m so fucking sorry for what I said,” Richard finally whispers into the air between them.

There’s no answer at first. Richard carefully puts a hand on Jared’s shoulder, thinking maybe it’s okay. He doesn’t know how to do this, doesn’t know how to be gentle. But for Jared’s he’s ready to try.

“It’s alright,” Jared says finally, his voice still quiet and defeated as he raises his head up a little but refuses to meet Richard’s gaze. “I guess I can be a little bit, well, intense, sometimes.”

Richard hates the way he sounds, like it’s to be expected that Richard behaves like a dick. Which, yeah, actually, that’s a fair assumption, but Jared... he deserves better than that. So much better.

“No, no it’s not alright,” Richard insists, shaking his head a little. “I just... I was such a dick before, and I promised myself that I’d do better, that I’d _be_ better for you, and I… I fucked up, Jared, and I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Jared says and sniffs a little.

“Jared, please, just. Look at me? I’m serious. How—how do I make this right? I’d do anything. I need you so much, and I hate it that I caused this, and I’m. So sorry. Please.”

Jared finally looks at him, fresh tears welling in his eyes, and Richard just wants to wrap his arms around that lanky body and hold Jared in his arms. He stuffs his hands back in the pockets of his hoodie instead.

“No, please--please don’t cry.”

The words seem to have the opposite effect, and Richard’s hand is reaching out again before he can think about it, what he’s doing and whether he _should_ be doing it. He brushes away the fresh tears with his thumb and watches Jared’s face, watches his hand on Jared’s cheek. Jared’s skin is so soft, and so warm. Richard can feel his own face heating up, and that warmth travelling lower down his chest. 

And god, Jared’s eyes look even bluer after he’s been crying. Richard feels another wave of guilt at that, thinking how good Jared looks, even like this, so he apologizes again.

“I’m sorry.”

Jared just stares at him, and he doesn’t really deserve Jared at all, sweet and gentle Jared who has probably never hurt anyone in his life. With that thought, Richard leans in closer and presses his lips against Jared’s other cheek, against the drying tears there. He hears a sharp intake of breath, feels Jared tremble against him.

“Jared? Jared. Is this. Okay?” Richard asks as he leans back.

Jared’s eyes are closed and he nods, slowly, so Richard—he still doesn’t really know what he’s doing, doesn’t know how much of this is for Jared and how much is just his own selfish need to have more _of_ Jared. But he feels such a strong desire to lean in again, so he does. This time he closes his eyes and presses his lips against Jared’s. He’s afraid to rush into it because maybe Jared didn’t want exactly this, and maybe Richard isn’t the best kisser in the world and when Jared finds out he definitely won’t want to be kissed by Richard, and—

And then Jared’s hands are in his hair, tugging him into another kiss, short and sweet like the first one, and then another one that is isn’t quite that short, or sweet. Richard’s hands fly up to Jared’s shoulders as he pushes against Jared, kissing back hungrily. When Jared lowers his legs to the floor, Richard straddles them and climbs into Jared’s lap. He loses his balance a little and curses softly. Jared laughs against his mouth, a happy sound Richard knows he'll never get tired of. He leans back a little to watch Jared's face, to see him smiling. It's such a beautiful sight.

“Jared. I don’t think you’re weird, or obsessed—or okay, maybe a little bit, but—” Richard starts, somewhat breathless from the kiss, from the way Jared’s looking at him, like he can’t believe this is real.

“Richard, it’s—”

“No, it’s okay. Um. I like it. How you’re—it’s just fucking intoxicating, being looked at like that. And, also very. Distracting. But I don’t want you to stop. Ever. I like it. All of it. I like you, and—oh god, please, just shut me up already, will you—”

And Jared seems more than happy to do that, his lips capturing Richard’s in a kiss that leaves them both breathless again.

Eventually they have to go back to work, but it takes a while. Jared keeps saying that they’re on a deadline, they need to work on keeping all their data safe and contact the fridge company, but while he’s saying all of that his hands are sneaking up beneath the hem of Richard’s t-shirt, stroking bare skin. And Richard is humming his agreement against the skin of Jared’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses behind.

When they manage to get up from the floor, Jared takes his time running his fingers through Richard's hair, making it look more presentable. Richard leans into the touch, smiling, which leads into a couple more kisses before they can make it out of the bathroom.

“Aww, did you guys kiss and makeup?” Dinesh asks as soon as he sees them and grins.

Richard looks over at Jared, who doesn’t seem at all concerned, just sits down in his chair and looks down, a smile playing on his lips.

“Yes, we did,” Jared says.

“That--that’s not, it--we. Um.”

Jared just smiles at him, and Richard feels that warm feeling settle in his chest as he smiles back. Yeah, they did, and so what? Who cares what the guys think, who cares what anyone thinks. He just kissed Jared Dunn. And if the company wasn’t in danger he would be still kissing Jared, dammit.

“Yeah,” Richard says finally, relaxing into his chair a little and giving Jared a smile. “Yeah, we did.”

“Ugh, that’s disgusting,” Dinesh says.

Richard looks up sharply at that, but Dinesh—now back at work, his gaze on the screen of his laptop—is smiling, and Gilfoyle chuckles to himself.

“You’re just jealous,” Richard says. “Both of you.”

“Yeah, no,” Gilfoyle says. “Dinesh and I have been fucking each other for months.”

“You have _what_? Jared, did you—did you know about this?”

“Well,” Jared starts, looking a little uncomfortable. “They haven’t been particularly discreet. I thought you knew.”

“Um. No. This is all news to me.”

“Figures. You were too busy gazing at Jared like a lovesick puppy all that time to notice us fucking right under your nose,” Gilfoyle says.

Richard can feel himself blush, because, well.

“Oh, Richard,” Jared says, his voice full of wonder. “Really?”

“And I thought I hadn’t been particularly, um. Discreet,” Richard says and coughs. “About that.”

Jared’s hand finds his on the table and squeezes. Richard smiles at him and gets a huge grin in return.

“Ugh, get a room you two,” Dinesh grumbles. “Actually, don’t, because someone has to call the fridge company. So, as much as I hate to say it, Jared, we need you.”

“Oh, of course!” Jared says brightly and takes his phone with his free hand, already dialling the number.

Richard holds onto his other hand for a moment longer before going back to work with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to include that thing about those toys that bounce back up again when you punch them. Zach Woods talked about it in some interview while describing Jared and it was such a great detail that stuck with me.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: http://elisa-pie.tumblr.com/


End file.
